In San Diego County, most family law lawyers represent men and woman alike. As a result, the tendency of other specialties to divide off between "us and them" does not exist. One day we may represent a man wanting his wife to go back into the job market instead of caring for their children, and the next the woman who wants to continue to be a stay at home mom. As a result, it is easier for most of us to see the weakness in our own arguments, and try to find ways of working around them. Our jobs, after all, are to put our clients' positions in their best light so the judge can make a decision, not to impose our own views on the world - we are selling legal services, not a point of view.
In criminal law, prosecutors and defense attorneys don't party together generally, and tend to polarize in their opinions of the world. In personal injury, defense lawyers and plaintiff lawyers pair off, also polarizing. Family law lawyers who don't argue both sides often cannot plan arguments to work around their clients' weaknesses - we socialize together, and our organizations contain lawyers on all sides.
Occasionally, we find potential clients who want their lawyers to be of a particular gender. A friend of mine, who worked 50-60 hours per week for years, used to laugh about woman who hired her, saying "I want a woman lawyer, because you'll understand that I don't want to go back to work." My friend would then comment that's she'd like not to go back to work either, but work was her lot in life and the means for maintaining her standard of living [and office overhead]. We'd all then have a good laugh because we'd had similar experiences.
Then there are the men who want a lawyer who specializes in "Men's Issues." Like any good lawyer doesn't understand he might need a lawyer to fight for more time with his children, protect his business from division, and minimize his support?
At least those of us who represent both sides know which arguments are successful and which aren't. Then there are the men who insist on hiring a female lawyer to "intimidate" their wives [or maybe they are used to bossing someone around and he thinks the woman may be more pliable], and women who hire females because they will "intimidate" their husbands.
There are woman who want to hire a man "to stand up to my husband," and men who won't hire a woman because "they aren't aggressive enough."
I'm here to tell you: It doesn't make a difference. Hire someone competent, experienced in handling the type of case you have, and with a personality that you think you can work with. I've seen male lawyers too passive to speak up in court, and woman who can attack with the best of them. Don't be sucked in by thinking that gender of your lawyer has any tactical advantage. Hire me, I'll make you laugh. Or hire someone else who won't find the humor in the situation. It's your choice, so pick someone you think can actually understand your position, be willing to try to make the best of it, and has the skills to do so.
